(Source: 3swallows, via talk-birdy-to-me) ★wtf
Texts from my dad.
A lightning bug just landed on my rite knee and appears he can’t find his OFF switch. He has a constant GLOW. I think he’s dying, or got tired of fuckin blinking I’ll let u know how it works out 4 him.. His light is as not bright as it was when he arrived. I think he’s gonna DIE on my rite knee He shall recieve a proper burial. His light is no more. He looked at peace with da world at his last moments. I hope I will be as lucky as he in MY final moments ★wtf ★text ★my dad is weird as shit
(via teutonicpunnery) ★wtf
OK what the fuck
I just had the craziest dream ever. I don’t remember the lead up at all but apparently my family and I were somewhere in Alabama for some reason, and we were getting ready to leave, I guess, so we stopped at like a McDonalds/gas station thing, and I see this little kitten that looks like it’s hiding in the grill of a car, so I go to get it out before it gets burned or killed with the engine starts, and I see that there’s a dead mama cat under the car :C So I snagged fluffy white kitty and tell my family to wait up and go to take him into the bathroom and wash him off. He looks OK, but it’s clear the mama’s been dead a while because he’s got goopy eyes and poopy butt. So I cleaned him with warm water and very diluted soap (which probably for a real cat would not have been a great idea) and then put him under the hand dryer, because I’ve always been told kittens that young can’t regulate their own body temperatures, so I wanted to get him dry and warm. And as I’m drying him, this tall woman walks up to get a paper towel and is all “oh, he’s so cute!” and fucking SNATCHES HIM!!!! She just walks off saying some crazy shit I don’t remember, and apparently the McD/gas station is built into someone’s house??? I don’t know… anyway she goes into this room and hands the kitten to her friend like “We’re keeping it” and I’m screaming at her that he’s gonna die if I don’t get him dry and stable and her friend does this disappearing act with it somehow and what feels like a good fifteen minutes, I’m fighting this girl, some physically, to get this fucking kitten back. I forget how, but eventually they turn away or some shit and the bedside table in the room is one of those clear plastic drawer-things, and kitten is walking around on top of underwear all “meow~ :3” so I grab him and RUN and end up getting lost through this fuckin’ house and somehow I come out and I’m walking around to find my family and this crazy bitch shows up again and wants to kick my ass for a fucking kitten that I found abandoned in a parking lot, while the kitten is in my pocket! So I use that to stall her and start walking and telling her to just chill out and maybe we should call the police to help us negotiate it blah blah blah and as we’re walking, we turn a corner and there’s like this raised bushes thing (you know, like a landscape island or whatever, with boards around it?) and there’s a cat that looks like he’s a white cat maybe with a black leg or something that’s covered in mud and I say “there, there’s your cat, take that one if you want one so bad”. She shrugs and reaches over and grabs it by the fucking ears and tries to pull it towards her but he’s got his paws dug down into the dirt and wont budge and she gives up and looks at me like “what the fuck do I do now?” and I sigh and reach over and realize he’s all trembling and panting and he shakes a little and I realize he’s not muddy but covered in blood and there’s a black cat crouched behind a bush a little ways away that looks sort of torn up, too so I just started walking again because the bleeding cat was trying to come near me and was getting blood on me and no can’t do that. It jumped down and slinked off somewhere and so we kept walking and I look down and there’s this tiny, like, not even real tiny kitten that wasn’t even fluffy, he had really short downy hair and he was a grey tabby and it’s eyes were open and she almost STEPPED on him so I pointed him out and she picks him up (he was like… the size of a cherry tomato or something) and point out another that was wobbling around and she picks them up and I figure they’re probably going to not make it anyway, so at least maybe it isn’t a bad idea letting this crazy have them, and we walk through this weirdo area that’s sort of like a chicken coop and sort of like a pound or whatever, and I finally lose her and see my family again and as I’m walking up, pulling the kitten out of my pocket, my mom’s all impatient and gets my brother to wave a pack of cigarettes at me to hurry me up and I start bitching like crazy about this girl and then I woke up. ……………….? ……….???????????????????????????? I have no idea.
★dreams ★wtf
I am fucking dying right now. My grandma used to have the same shitty little keyboard that would play this exact version of House of the Rising Sun. *nostalgia and laughing and so much can’ts to even* (via porarisu) ★mucc ★wtf ★wtf ★wtf ★wtf ★alksjgalksdjf ★AHAHAHAHHA
★this is some crazy shit you guys ★wtf ★anything to make a buck (Source: ki-yo-shi, via akatsukiyami) ★definitely just realized that yukke has tatsu by the balls ★wtf ★love love love |
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